When was the last time you looked in the mirror and thought "there she is." 

6 months ago, I couldn't tell you when I last saw myself. 

Deep in the year of the pandemic, every time I looked in the mirror I thought...

"Why do I look so tired? Why do I feel so tired? Is my skin aging faster than usual?"

...or I thought of all of the things I had to do that day, or wasn't going to get to, or wasn't doing very well. 

But I never thought "here I am."

It's a funny thing realizing you are lost...not in direction outside of yourself, but in direction INSIDE of yourself.

You check the boxes as you go...

• Marriage...check
• House...check
• Enough cutlery and bake wear to host Thanksgiving in your home...check
• Dog...check
• Children...check
• Work Hard to Lose the Baby Weight...trying to check
• Career Path that fulfills me...check-ish
• Things that bring you joy outside of motherhood and marriage that remind you who you are and how to always have a good laugh at yourself.....oops...forgot to...

Seriously….do you ever notice how your energy and motivation waxes and wanes like the moon?!?! Well sister…apparently it isn’t just in our heads…it is in our HORMONES, and TRULY happens! There is a REASON we feel like we can TAKE ON the world as our period wraps up and like we can barely get out of bed (unless it is for chocolate) the closer to Aunt Flow’s visit.

In FACT….there is actually something called CYCLE SYNCHING that is a proven and researched method for working alongside your hormone cycle to get the MOST out of your workouts….Now as much as I am SURE you would love to get lost down a rabbit hole researching all the info you can on this (notice the sarcasm) I know that if you are like ME…YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT INSANITY….so, I am going to summarize this stuff for you quick and dirty so you can take advantage of these perks and know what workouts to do when Aunt Flow visits and when she says ‘peace out’ until next month.

Cool? Cool.

Here we go…in laymen’s terms.

Days ...

I want to stand too close to you.

I had something inspiring to share with you but when I looked in my heart this is what I found...

At my best I want so much for you...

I want peace, I want health, I want love over fear, I want safety and freedom...

But today, I just want to stand too close to you.

I want to travel to my northern hometown
walk the cold winter streets arm & arm with an old friend
legs frozen and cheeks rosy,
step into a café
and stand too close to you

I want to go to a busy bistro with my husband and have to lean in so I can hear him better
because the place is so packed,
I’m having to stand too close to you

I want to go to a concert with more than 50,000 people
lose myself in the energy of the music
while I stand too close to you

I wanna take my children to an amusement park or an indoor play place
watch them exhaust themselves while they bump in to other children and laugh
and I want to smile quietly to myself while I stand too close to you

So yes, at my best I want you to find self lov...